by Amy Brunvand
Before the irreversible transition
To your new species, read the study guide.
We cannot guarantee the same position
On the food chain that you occupy
In your present form. Be sure to read
The hunting regulations. Try on your fur
At home to check the fit. Out in the woods
Ill-fitting paws or tail-drag can hamper
Your escape. Please listen carefully
To the recording so that when you bark
Your voice sounds natural. Inform your family
Of your intentions before you turn and walk
Away lest they report a missing person
When they find your empty human skin.